Photogenic

The first thing he did
When we first met was
Apologize. He’s sorry
Because he wasn’t
Photogenic.

And he wasn’t lying.

Every time I take a picture of him,
He looks like he’s sick.
His face, lopsided. His grin, toothy.
Why does it look like his bones break
Every time I snap a photo?

Here I am, trying to show
This beautiful creature to the world
One
Frame at a time.
But, of course, no dice.

And yes, I did record him.
Videos won’t cut it, either.
It shows him in flux but
The camera skips the pixels
Of nuance and subtlety.

Shame. In the flesh,
My eyes see what cameras
Fail to catch.
No photograph can capture his charm.
No video can copy is grace.

All to myself?
Maybe it’s possible to have
Too much of a
Good thing.
It’s intoxicating.

Advertisements

Straight Crush

Nooooo no no!
We’re not doing this again!
I’m not signing up for weeks
(WEEKS, may I remind you?)
Of half-assed Shakespearean-esque soliloquies
While you look at yourself in the mirror
And cry.

I don’t care if he’s tall
And has a goatee
And talks with a Southern twang in his accent.
(Damn, he’s really cute though.)

HE’S STRAIGHT.
ARE YOU SLOW? (Sometimes, I wonder.)
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

And no, don’t say that “Oh but he seems like
He could be in the closet” nonsense.
Your GAYDAR can’t detect horseshit
Even if you’re BATHING
In it.

I mean,
I get it.
(Duh, I’m you.)
Your type of guy just happens to like
A lot of things that straight guys like.
Like video games.
And cargo shorts.
And flip flops (That’s a straight guy thing, right?)

Except girls. You don’t like girls.
But they do.
See how that’s a big problem?

So don’t put your heart and dick in your sleeves.
You know you’re gonna hurt yourself again if you do.
Just forget about him.
Find a new hobby
Move to a new state.
That way, no one gets hurt.
No one gets…
No one…
No…

You already fell for him,
didn’t you?

Starbucks

My official label as a gay man
is a lot like a Starbucks drink order.
 
I can already see the barista
yelling over the counter.
“Cis gay Asian bear,
a shot of geekiness,
extra vanilla,
no kinks.”
 
It’s excessive, I know, but I’m happy with it.
 
Then the Barista squints
at the name on the cup.
“For… Pablo?”
 
It’s Paulo.
Fuck.

For Free

Good.
We’re not too far from each other.
Need some—
Ah, gotcha.
Should have known you’d be prepared.
Just ten minutes away by car.
No biggie.

You know, this always
Makes me think.
It’s almost hilarious,
Isn’t it?
Inside I feel empty.
And in just a few minutes,
For a few minutes,
I won’t be.

But I never get any closer to becoming a
Complete Person.

Eh, who gives a shit?
We both know what we want.
How we want it.
Just
How much
We need it.

I shouldn’t expect a miracle
when I’m getting this for free.

“Homosexuality is a Choice” (Se dice de mi)

Being gay is a choice?
You think it is my choice?

To be gay is my decision,
Just an option, no precaution,
Sleep with men until exhaustion,
Just like dirty little sluts?
You think our brains are simply tainted,
Misguided and perverted,
With minds so corrupted,
Sticking dicks up in our butts?

Lay down with Adam, with Peter, or with John,
In bed together, and wake up right at dawn.
Will mark us winners,
And a prize as well.
Eternal damnation,
A ticket,
Straight to Hell?

Does that mean we chose,
To be discriminated ruthlessly,
Intimidated relentlessly,
And pushed until down we fell?

Systematically-selected to be shunned and be detested,
By the antiquated hatred in this world.
Constant threats of death and beatings and some may even throw things,
Nimbly dodging, once our rainbow flag’s unfurled?

Oh what a life
This truly is,
And just because of who we kiss!
What kind of man cannot resist
A cursed life so grand as this?

Forget respect, we’re over it.
We’ll take the hit and cry and sit.
Of course I kid about it all,
Sarcastic wit’s the wherewithal!
To disagree with your guess,
It’s the only way to stress,
That the answer all along is “No.”

And yet they still talk.
But they won’t ever say,

“Homosexuality’s found in nature,
Part of Earth’s own legislature,
And it’s not just some fiendish made-up ploy.”
Born this way, it’s all genetics,
Not cosmetic or synthetic,
Like a useless plastic toy.
It’s not at all infectious, like a disease.
You won’t shiver, or shake, or sneeze.

What crimes have we committed,
For simply being gay?
Aside, of course, for looking fabulous,
While wearing a beret?

You say that you’re enlightened.
To me, you’re mad and frightened.
Concerned with who we have sex with,
Every,
Single,
Day.

We just want to love each other, and spend time with one another,
Swear we wouldn’t be a bother, yes it’s true.
This isn’t something that you choose, believe it all, we’re not confused.
I’m really sorry that our views displeases you.

While being gay is not a choice,
There is a fact I’d like to voice.
It’s not for you to rejoice,
For it may sound a lot like noise.

When you throw sludge,
Then smear and smudge,
Unfairly judge,
When things won’t budge.
Don’t feel so bad when asked with sass,
If you really choose to be an ass.
Because, of course, the answer will not be “No.”

Haiku

617

Dear Diary,
 
It’s Wednesday again! That means I’m home ate and very tired. But it’s onlly for 2 more weeks! Hooray!
 
I actually tried writing poetry last night. It didn’t really go anywhere. i used to be really good but I guess college has sapped my creativity. It’s quite sad, but there’s nothing you can do about that. Though maybe I should practice.
 
Effortlessly blue.
Can we make it to the shore?
The boat is leaking.
 
Nailed it,
-Paulo