weight loss – In Two, Power Ten

I’m going to die next week after 2 hours of parkour on a college campus.

A really really really fit guy started talking to me on OkCupid, and suggested we go and join the parkour club at a nearby campus. We exchanged numbers, and we planned to find each other wherever the club will be meeting. I, in my typical fashion of saying “Yes” to everything without thinking it through especially when I’m talking to people of authority or really attractive men, agreed and promised him that I’ll be there. He said I am now part of his “Parkour Friends” list in his phone, which I feel like is a step up from just being on a regular “Online Friends” list. It is now my destiny.

Physically-fit and attractive men rarely talk to me. This case is a very uncommon event, and it stuns me when it happens. Vegans and vegetarians actively avoid me, and fitness buffs and athletes generally won’t even look in my direction.

My first problem is that they’re all very attractive to me. That’s the kind of guys that I like.

Sexy. Athletic. Toned. Tall. Beards are a plus, but not required. Long hair is fun but not necessary. Red hair, the rarest of them all, is a giant plus. At that point, they might as well be a shiny Pokemon.

Aren’t we all just hunting for our shiny Pokemon?

And when you mix in a little bit of geekiness to that sexy solution, it creates an incredibly attractive human being that I would do anything in my power (within legal limits and without being creepy, of course) just so I can wake up with that person every morning for the rest of my life. Okay, I gotta tone down the creepiness.

My second problem is that I am not the type of guy that my dream guy would be dating. I’m 230 pounds right now. My closet is full of clothes that I can no longer fit into. While I am making strides, my dating market value (as I have explained in this post right here) does not match the requirements of the guys that I’m trying to date.

And yeah, I know what you’re gonna say. “There’s someone out there for everyone.” “The guy you’ll end up with will love you just the way you are.” “Being big is beautiful.” I get it. That’s fine. It’s a great way to make myself feel better when I’m dealing with my weight. I even made a post (which you can check out right here) about how I’d hate it if my main goal to lose weight was to flaunt my hot body in front of everyone who rejected me.

HOWEVER.

None of that will help me lose that weight.

I get that it’s not nice to make fun of people’s weight, especially since some people do have health problems that cause it, and that psychological problems plague people suffering from obesity, preventing them from losing weight. But I’m not one of those people. Really, the only thing that’s probably stopping me mentally from continuing to lose weight is this non-stop repetition of “You’re to thin. Eat more. Keep eating.” that keeps playing in my head, said with the voices of my mom, my grandmother, and doctors I have seen in the Philippines (which deserves a completely different blog post).

So in a way, barely anything is stopping me from reaching that goal. I want to be with a geeky, sexy, tall guy. In my current state of fitness, it’s way too much to ask for, but I can make positive changes in my life through exercise and a proper diet. I technically need to do this anyway since both my mom and dad’s families are prone to diabetes.

One of these days, if I continue this path that I’m walking on to reach a stable healthy lifestyle, I’ll be able to jump over that fence where all the attractive, in-shape, fit geeks are hiding as they play Pokemon on their 3DS. Parkour might just end up being the most important skill that I need to get over that hurdle.

—DARY! Ironically, I am lactose intolerant..

Of course, this is assuming I don’t break my bones and die next week. If I stop writing for 2 months, please call the cops and have them search for my body.

Anyway…

I tried to draw him based on the pictures he has.

It’s a quick sketch, none of this is to scale. Just wanted to emphasize the orange hair!

He’s not that much taller than me (even though I’ve been emphasizing the importance of height).

But, as Ke$ha has so elegantly stated…

But right now I enjoy the friendship. He’s a nice guy, and has enough geekiness for me to geek out. Maybe eventually, when I drop even more of this weight, I’ll become more than just a “Parkour Friend.”

———

EDIT:

While chatting some more, he made references to the workout in ONE PUNCH MAN.

Of course I’d choose a red-haired comedian.

He’s tugging hard on my heart string, man. This guy is unreal.

———

When I lose all of this weight, I’m gonna go look for everyone who has ever said “No” to me when I asked them out. Well, not everyone. Just the ones who gave me the look: wide eyes, surprised face, jaw wide open like they saw a ghost. Just those people. And I want to go up to them while wearing a tight-fitting tank top, sunglasses, and Chubbies shorts. I’ll stand there until they realize who is standing in front of them, then I’ll scream “THIS IS WHAT YOU TURNED DOWN! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE ASSHOLE WHO DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHANCE, HUH?” Then I’ll walk backwards while tapping my six-pack and jumping on to my jeep and drive away.

I dream about this at least once a month. And every time I wake up from it, I wish with my whole heart that I can get a chance to do that someday.

I’m wishing that I lose weight just so I can show them that they made a mistake. I don’t want to lose weight for me.

I want to lose weight for them.

Damn. That’s fucked up.

Tag: weight loss

Weight Loss Process, a Haiku

Many ups and downs.
It’s like a roller coaster.
I’d rather eat cake.

Parkour

For Them

7 lbs.

Many ups and downs. It’s like a roller coaster. I’d rather eat cake.

Many ups and downs.
It’s like a roller coaster.
I’d rather eat cake.